Monday, June 27, 2011

The Annealed Iron is the Heaviest

    You were very PRO-GUY yesterday, Hobobob.

    Yeah, I was at that. Because I was speaking about things that piss me off. The attack on Anthony Weiner wasn’t about politics. It wasn’t about the stupid Republicans heaping hate on the entire Democratic party and all that bullshit. It was about a guy being a guy. We give women incredible leeway to be women, but guys are not cut any slack. 

    Disagreee? Don’t fuck with me, I’ll go on a fucking rampage that’ll shrivel up a testicle or an ovary.  You should know by now that I don’t play around here on this blog. But I don’t have time for a girls-against-the-boys post either. I want to talk about an email that goes like this today: “Hobobob, you have a lot of shit to say about American Politics, but still, this country has the best political system in the world. We are the model for every other political structure to either copy or envy. To be a real critic of the political system, you should be a politician to see it from their side of the fense.”

    First of all, you don’t spell fence that way. Didn’t the spell- checker go off? Hey. I’m not going to rib on your spelling skills, instead I’m going to talk about politics, specifically being a politician. First, I’m not married, so I’ll be running on the not married platform. I have no wife, ergo, I can fuck around. That’s the second half of my platform. I have no pussy at home, so I am allowed to go out and chase as much of it as I want. So when you catch me with my dick on the Internet, don’t fucking ask me to leave my job. I’m hunting trim. And if I’m caught paying money for a high class whore, as long as it’s my money that I’m using and not funds for my campaign, leave me the shit alone.

    So, I don’t want to hear anyone’s bullshit when I’m getting my dick wet for any reason. Next, I’m fucking poor. I am so poor that I don’t want to be poor anymore. That means, I’m in it for the fucking money. If I find some side scheme or some side job, I’m taking it. And I’ll tell my constituents that shit right away. I’m not fucking around. I’m greedy right off the bat. So if you are thinking that you’ll catch me with my hand in the till, I’ll ring the alarm for you. And the most you can say is that “Hobobob said that he would, and he did what the fuck he said.”

    Third, I’m on a man hunt, and a woman hunt also. I’m going to point out all the lying bitches screwing and cheating the public. First, if one of my fellow politicians are doing what I’m doing, I’m ratting them the fuck out. Because I know that they will be heaping hate and heat on my head for being a shit in office. They’ll be railing against my election just because I am doing what they are doing in the open, and for them to do the same, they will be the hypocrites. So they will be shitting in their pants every time they fall asleep through a vote or tell me some shit that they are into. 

    Lastly, I’m voting from the homeless up. I’m talking the homeless, then the poor, then the middle class and last and very least, the upper class and the fat cats. Yeah, that’s right. I’m out to clean out the government of the bullshitting politicians, pointing them out to the American public to crucify their fucking asses, and then I’m going after the big lobbyists with their fucking deep pockets and bullshit that makes a politician a whore instead of a champion of the American Public.

    What I mean to tell you is that you don’t fucking want me to be the one on Capitol Hill. I’ll fuck politics up. That’ll be the message that I will send to you people out there. I’ll give ‘em Hell, and they’ll either assassinate me while riding in the back of a sedan through the streets of Brooklyn, or do some convert smear campaign….no wait. That shit won’t work, because I will be too busy smearing own fucking ass. The assassination wouldn’t go over well either. What shadow government agents would be caught dead in Brooklyn? That’s the motherfucking truth.

    So before you start printing out those Hobobob for state senate buttons, realize that I’ll be balls deep in all of my aides, and taking money from the thugs and drug dealers in the neighborhood. I mean, they are just as valid lobbyist as those fucks from the big corporations who are poisoning hundreds of thousands by polluting our lands and waters, and with bogus drugs with lethal side effects. 

    Do you think I’m fucking with you?


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